Fearing Goal

I seem to get stuck whenever a big weight loss milestone is close to happening. It happened when I was close to hitting 100lbs lost and even more so when I was trying to hit onederland. I had the goal to hit onederland before 2011 began…I didn’t hit it until the end of December 2011.

It’s like no matter what, I cannot get myself over these humps. And I’m starting to see this with trying to get my goal weight. I’ll get close to entering the 150s then weeks like a couple weeks ago happen. Or I’ll get close and then will lose suuuuuper slow. Or lose, gain, lose again.

It’s becoming frustrating and I honestly think it is some sort of mental thing. I think a little bit of it is just slacking off because I feel like the weight should come off easy. Or maybe I feel like I’ve been doing this so long, what’s a little bit longer? But what I really think is the issue is fear.

Fear of the unknown.
I have been losing weight for a quite awhile. Over 4 years now. All I’ve known in life is being overweight or losing weight. Can’t remember a time where I was actually happy with my weight. So, what happens when I just have to maintain? What’s being happy with my weight going to be like? I have no idea and that’s scary.

Fear of what’s life going to be like at goal.
Now I know that life has been always going on the whole time I’ve been losing weight. Life isn’t beginning at goal for me. But things are going to be different for me. I’ll be maintaining instead of losing. I won’t be shopping for smaller clothes all the time. Lol. I’ll be looking to accomplishing new goals and doing thing I never thought possible.

Fear of all that’s going to come along with me being at goal.
When I hit goal I plan on becoming a Weight Watchers leader. It didn’t start out as an original goal, but eventually became one. Becoming a leader not only sounds completely awesome to me, but also scares the living crap out of me. What if I suck? What if nobody comes to my meetings? What if it isn’t as awesome as I think it’ll be? All silly things I know, but it’s true.

Fear of being done losing weight.
Seriously, this is all I know. Switching my brain is going to be difficult. Especially with not wanting to see the scale continue to go down. It’s going to be a learning process and learning new things is always scary.

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But I can’t let fear stop me from hitting my goal. That’s just ridiculous. Why would I let something so silly stop me from getting something I want more than anything?

I want to hit goal.
I need to hit goal.

While I’m fearing all that comes with it, I want it all at the same time. I’m ready for the switch and ready to be done losing weight.

More than anything I’m ready to be done paying money to Weight Watchers and have them start paying me instead! ;)

So, what do I need to do to get this to happen? I really need to start focusing on the reasons I want this. Sometimes I forget and just get stuck in routine.

I need to remember there are reasons for this journey. Reasons that all this hard work will be worth it. To grow old with Mr. B, to be a healthy active awesome mom, to become a leader, to inspire and help others on their own journeys, and to be in my own Weight Watchers commercial. To also eventually complete a half marathon, to do 100 real push-ups, to (maybe possibly) try out for a roller derby team, to be stronger than I am now, and to just challenge myself physically.

I’m ready to tell fear to $&€% off and get my ass to goal. I put Mission: Goal into effect back in December, but honestly forgot all about it. I’m bringing it back into effect because really, there is no other option!

Do you let fear hold you back from major things? Obviously I do in all aspects of life. That’s why I’ve been at my job for almost 8yrs. But that’s a story for another day. ;)

Be sure to come back Monday! Emily and I will be announcing a challenge for the month of March!